Are You Being Kind to Yourself? 5 Ways to Practise Self-Compassion
Imagine someone you love had a really hard day. Perhaps they missed a deadline at work. Or maybe they barely slept, or just felt flat and low for no particular reason. What would you do?
Most of us would respond without hesitation. Without thinking, we would ask what they need, listen without judgement, and offer comfort. Naturally, we would remind them that one hard day does not define them. This is what we do for the people we care about.
So why is it so much harder to do the same for ourselves?
When we are the ones struggling, many of us do the opposite. Instead of offering kindness, we push through. Rather than pausing, we tell ourselves to toughen up. As a result, we criticise ourselves for not coping better. Ultimately, we extend warmth to everyone around us and save the harshest voice for ourselves.
If you have ever flown before, you will remember the instruction to fit your own oxygen mask first. There is real wisdom in that. After all, you cannot pour from an empty cup. Looking after yourself is not selfish. Instead, it is the foundation of being able to show up for the people and things that matter to you.
Self-compassion means treating yourself with the same warmth you would offer a close friend. This is especially important during times of difficulty, failure, or self-doubt. Research consistently shows that self-compassion leads to greater emotional strength and better mental health. Therefore, when we stop the cycle of self-criticism, we create space for something much better.
Here are five practical ways to start being kinder to yourself today.
Give Yourself Time
Allow yourself time to do something you genuinely enjoy, without guilt. To begin, write a list of things that restore you. Then make a deliberate effort to schedule them into your week. Whether it is reading, walking, a bath, or coffee with a friend, these things are not luxuries. In fact, they are necessities. You deserve them.
- Listen to What Your Body is Telling You
Check in with yourself regularly. Notice when you are hungry, thirsty, tired, or overwhelmed. Rather than pushing past those signals, respond to them. Drink enough water. Eat food that nourishes you. Move your body when it needs movement and rest when it needs rest. Your body communicates with you constantly. So start listening.
Notice How You Talk to Yourself
Pay attention to your inner thoughts. Most of us have a running internal commentary and for many people it is far harsher than anything they would say to someone they love. Start noticing the language you use about yourself. Then gently challenge thoughts that are critical or unkind. Reframe them into something more balanced and supportive. This takes practice and patience. However, it is one of the most powerful things you can do for your mental health.
Set Realistic Expectations
We live in a world that places enormous pressure on us to do more, be more, and achieve more. When we set impossible standards, we set ourselves up for feelings of failure, even when we have done nothing wrong. Therefore, give yourself permission to be human. Set goals that are honest and achievable. Furthermore, practise accepting the times when things don’t go to plan, because they won’t always. And that is okay.
Be Your Own Cheer Squad
When things are difficult, encouragement makes a real difference. However, that encouragement doesn’t always have to come from someone else. Acknowledge the progress you have made and the challenges you have overcome. Moreover, give yourself credit for the effort you put in every single day. Notice your wins, however small. You are doing better than you think.
So how will you be kind to yourself today?
If you find self-compassion difficult, speaking with a psychologist can help. At RWPsychology, our team and our Clinical Business Associates support individuals across Milperra, Oran Park and Narellan. Together, we offer practical, evidence-based strategies for building emotional strength and resilience. Call us on (02) 7907 3964 or book online to make an appointment.
